Miracles Do happen

I have to write to remind myself how special our little baby #3 truly is.
We found out that we were pregnant a week after my birthday, but that didn't matter because I already knew. A week earlier we were at church and I specifically remember the lesson from Relief Society talking about the chosen spirits that have been called to live on these latter days.
I felt this little baby's spirit within me, affirming the truth of that statement.
A couple of weeks later when I was ready to go to my first doctor's visit I had a really weird feeling though. I became anxious and afraid of that first Doctor's visit not knowing why until I was in the room with the doctor and he was explaining to me that I was pregnant with not only one but two babies, but he couldn't find a heartbeat on either one of them.
I was in shock!. My hands are trembling right now just to remember that second when your whole world stops making sense and you try to understand what have been said.
"Probably a miscarriage" kept playing over and over in my head. I don't remember driving home that day, but apparently I did.
I don't know how you are suppose to ever come back from that, especially after having such a revealing moment with your unborn child like I did just a couple of weeks earlier.
After the Doctor told me about the miscarriage, he mentioned that there could still be a possibility ... but then he said he was 90% sure it would result in a miscarriage.
He asked to see me back in two weeks. May I mentioned those were the most depressing weeks of my life.
I didn't want to get my hopes up, just to have them destroyed again at the next visit, and yet you just don't want to quite give up on that little life inside of you.
Thank Goodness Spencer was next to me the whole time or I would have gone mad just thinking about it.
Spencer and I got really close those weeks. We cried together and we also reflected on the fact that if we lost the babies we could still have them; If we lived our lives righteously, instead of having a family of 7 up in Heaven it was going to be a family of 9.

So finally the day came for my appointment. It took the Doctor 5 seconds to find a heartbeat. OH that joyous sound!!! There was just one heartbeat though, the other baby didn't make it.
I felt sad that we had lost one of them, but my gosh what a gift we received that day.
We have pondered that perhaps the feelings of despair and sadness, I felt before my first visit, happened when our little baby's spirit was saying good bye to us
Our concerns and fears grew bigger as I started my trip to Ecuador. I had an entire month ahead of me where I was going to be taking care of the kids all by myself, with weird but delicious food, poor sanitation and more.
By then we could only hope that everything was going to be OK.
It was so beautiful to see our baby move and to again hear that precious heartbeat.
This kid is truly a miracle in our lives. We are so grateful with our Heavenly Father for the opportunity to be parents again.
We can wait to have this baby among us and to hold it and appreciate how real it is.